Day 21-26: Time flies when you're crazy!

Day 21:  03-22-2013
Day 22:  03-23-2013
Day 23:  03-24-2013
Day 24:  03-25-2013
Day 25:  03-26-2013
Day 26:  03-27-2013





Life has been a whirlwind of stress and crazy.  I cannot believe that I have not posted in the last 6 days.  More important, though, is the fact that I have NOT resorted to stress eating.  I blame the running.  The running has kept my focus well away from the stress and the food.  That and my new found aversion to all things animal hasn't hurt.  Sometimes just finding the right place to focus your energies can quite literally mean the difference between life and death.  Let's face it, the typical american is slowly eating themselves to death on a daily basis.  It's amazing how even switching one meal a day to plant based fair can change your outlook and stress levels.  There is something in getting enough nutrients in your body that improves your well being.

On a side not, I have discovered how easy it is to claim the "vegan" lifestyle and still eat like crap.  I have been surprised how many bits of junk food out there don't contain animal products.   However, those other foods are highly processed extractions that don't provide any nutritional benefit.  Nutrient density is the key.  That is why when I tell others about my eating habits, I simply state that I enjoy plant based whole foods.  Whole being the key word. I will expound when queried, otherwise I don't say much else about it.  I don't want to be that "crazy hippie vegan".  I live a life filled with labels.  I work with kids who have more labels than I have years experience.  Labels are not always the answer.  Sometimes they make the problems worse.       

Anyways, I think that so much of our way of life in the west is actually based around boredom.  Sure, we call it leisure time, but too much of that and we don't know what to do.  So we look for ways to fulfill that need and eating gives us something to do.  I know I do it all the time.  Its normal for me to be sitting down to watch a movie and have a "need" for something to munch on.  Sometimes veggies fill that need, sometimes they don't.  I am constantly in search of healthy alternatives to help me break the cycle.  For example, I have found a recipe for roasted chickpeas that is delightful and super healthy.

I am going to go back to my busy life now.  I think it helps the more I post, but sometimes I just don't have much to say.  I imagine I should focus on posting every other day or something.  More as the thoughts come to me.

My overall update will be coming on day 30.  I will post a picture of me when I started side by side in the same clothing 30 days later.  I will also post an official weight change.  I am already starting to see a difference in my physical, emotional, and intellectual self.  I want to keep this going.


Stats for Days 21-22:

Foods:
Varied plant based meals including tons of complex carbs, plant proteins in every form, whole grains, and fruits/veggies across the color spectrum.

Movement:
Lots of intervals (love'm) and a few days on the elliptical (weather/time).

Day 19-20: Be water, my friend!

Day 19:  03-20-2013
Day 20:  03-21-2013

Looks like another multi-post.  Earlier this week it was a three-for, tonight it is just a two-for.  This whole spring break business has got my schedule all out of whack.  Just as I was getting into a routine with my workouts and my food intake, this crazy week long "recess" goes and messes everything up.  And that's when it occurred to me.  Life is not a serious of schedules and routines.  Sure they are nice and they help us stay focused and get things done and such.  But it's the fact that life happens regardless of our schedules and plans that has messed me up in the past.  Life is what happens while stressing about schedules and routines.

The realization that in any given situation I am the only one I can change or control.  It is up to me to find or make the time to complete the things I need done for my family, my job, my health, etc.  This epiphany has been huge this week.  Maybe even bigger than the decision to become a vegan.  An even bigger realization is that there is no way I can do this alone.  This is only possible with the support of the people most closely effected by routines and there subsequent changes:  my family.   I am spoiled with a wife who has supported me throughout this process, kids who think its pretty cool, and extended family that hasn't called my crazy yet (this last one is huge).  

Mostly though, it has been my wife and her flexibility that has carried me this far.  She has muscled through my declaration of veganism with grace and poise.  You see, she is a fierce carnivore.  This has been more difficult than I could imagine.  More for her and my kids than for me.  Almost over night, she had to become the primary chef for dinners in the house.  That has been tough considering that she has also been sick this week. A few nights my family has ended up eating my vegan fair, which surprisingly hasn't gone terribly wrong with my kids.  Even under the weather, she has found a way to let me get out and move.  She has been amazing.

Flexibility is key.  Flexibility from and with my family.  Flexibility with my workout times.  Flexibility will make or break anyone trying to do anything.  If you are too flexible, you tie yourself into a metaphorical knot.  If you are constantly pushing aside your workouts or food requirements you will get nowhere fast.  If you become the "yes" man, you never get your own needs met.  It's one of the many ways we sabotage ourselves and our health.  On the flipside, if you become too rigid then end up alienating those around to the point where you just break.  And again, you end up sabotaging yourself and your health.  Being too rigid increases the stress load exponentially.  And when stressed, others feel it.  Flexibility is key.  Bend but do not break.  I leave tonight pondering the depths in this quote...

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
                                                                                                                   Bruce Lee 

In other news.  Covert flexibility is required with kids.  Turns out I just have to be clever if I want the kids to eat beans.  Like blending chickpeas into the tomato sauce (which made for a delightfully creamy "spaghetti" sauce).  I figured out that chickpeas also blend really well into garlic herb mashed potatoes.  I don't think they've realized that they have inadvertently eaten vegan meals for the last three nights.


Day 19 Stats:

Food:
Breakfast:  Smoothie (various fruits, flax, spinach, cinnamon, and a water base)
Lunch:  Broccoli Potato Soup
Dinner:  Multicolored Salad with a homemade dijon dressing
Snack:  An entire bag of corn chips (oops)

Movement:
Workout: Rest day



Day 20 Stats:

Food:
Breakfast:  Smoothie (various fruits, flax, spinach, cinnamon, and a water base)
Lunch:  Broccoli Potato Soup and Avacado Chickpea Dip with tortilla chips
Dinner:  Multicolored Salad with a homemade dijon dressing
Snack:  Lightly salted rice cake with mustard (oddly tasty)

Movement:
Workouit: Run
Type: Intervals for 1 mile, constant for 2 miles.
Time:  32:10
Distance: 3.11 miles

Day 16-18: Coming Out of the Closet...

Day 16: 03-17-2013
Day 17: 03-18-2013
Day 18: 03-19-2013

Ladies and Gentleman...

I



AM




VEGAN!




I have not come to this decision lightly, although I have gotten here quickly.  It is in, in fact, the reason I have not posted for 3 days.  I have been thinking, wondering, considering.   Many people know that I have been flirting with vegetarianism for some time, going so far as to label myself a flexitarian.  For those of you who don't know, I will define:

• Vegetarian:  someone who eats plant based food AND animal byproducts, but not the animal itself.  Usually for health reasons.

• Flexitarian:  Primarily a vegetarian who is flexible when the need arrives.  They understand that sometimes a meat dish is the only option.  Also usually for health reasons.

• Vegan:  Someone who ONLY eats plant based foods AND does not purchase or support any animal products including clothing.  This is usually for a combination of health and ethical reasons.

I know many of my friends are going to question me on this.  Especially when you consider my allergy to all things labeled as tree nuts (a staple in most vegan diets).   I know I am going to get the protein argument thrown at me.  I am still researching this, but preliminary research implies that our american dependence on "protein" is not necessarily the way it is supposed to be.  But that will be a topic for another post as I learn and grow through this process.  I know the burning question will be why?  Why at 35 am I making this decision?  How did I get to this conclusion?

10 minutes.  Ten minutes is all it took to kick my butt into the rabbit hole kicking and screaming, almost literally.  And boy is that rabbit hole deep.  As part of this process I have watching a lot of documentaries on health and lifestyle changes, one of the most powerful being "Forks Over Knives" (click to see their website).  Well, while I was trying to put my daughter to sleep last week I decided I would check out the Netflix.  Based on previous docs that I had watched, it suggested a documentary called "Vegucated".  In short, it follows three Meat & Cheese loving New Yorkers on a 6 week excursion into veganism.   Admittedly, the first 25 minutes or so are fairly benign, typical reality doc fair.  And then, well then it get's real.  The participants go to a presentation on the food industry in the US.  They begin talking about many of the practices found in the animal product industry.  Just a voice over.  Nothing too bad.  But then they showed video.  Of real people doing real things to real animals.  And it was cruel.  Awful.  Disgusting.  I got trapped holding a sleeping baby for 10 minutes.  And it was among the most vomitous 10 minutes of my life.  I had no idea that so many people could be so cruel.  I know there are wicked people out there.  I just didn't expect this.  Anyone who has ever been around animals (family pets and such) knows that animals feel three major emotions:  happiness, fear and pain.  And I saw fear and pain.  A lot of fear and pain.  I won't be cruel to anyone who reads this and get more graphic than this.  I am not at crusader level yet.  I am making a personal choice for me.  And I can't be this cruel to a living creature.  I can't support an industry that is this cruel.  Ignorance is bliss people.  And I am no longer ignorant. 

I can not say with any certainty that this is not just a season of my life.  I mean, I am not ethically opposed to the idea of animals as a part of a balanced diet.  I just thing the animals that get eaten can be treated so much better.  I know it's hard to understand without knowing all the details, but I just can't bring myself to relive those images yet.  I have a hard enough time living in a family that is not about to forgo animal products anytime soon.  But we do agree that the products they buy should come from ethically treated animals.  I do not envy the increase in my grocery bill, but I truly believe it will be worth it in the end.

So how did get here as a country?  Lord knows we probably throw away more food than many countries produce.  Most people live in blissful ignorance of the facts.  We have our ideals and that gets most people through the day.  For the most part Old MacDonald doesn't exist down on the farm anymore.  Think about.   At any given moment I can walk into one of 20 or so grocery stores that are fully stocked with   animal products.  And I live in one city of thousands.  Do the math.  That is a lot of animals needed for a lot of products.  From food to clothing and toiletries.   And we throw a lot away because it doesn't last.

Ultimately for me this means a consistently better diet.  One less person in the chain of events that spurs this industry on and maybe over time six less people or more.  I am not going to throw out the things I already own, then the cruelty would have truly been without purpose.  I will, however, make more informed purchases in the future.  I will be a better steward of my life, my health and my world.

If you want to know more or want to see it for yourself I recommend you give Food, Inc or Vegucated.  They make pretty convincing arguments for the ethical treatment of animals.  I also recommend you give Forks Over Knives a try.  They make some pretty compelling arguments for health related topics.  Or just read Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.


Recent Activities:

Lots of running.  Lots of vegetables and fruit, grains and beans.  I made a delicious broccoli potato soup.

And I binge ate an entire bag of black bean and garlic corn chips (I felt awful afterwords and I have learned that I am not ready for junk food).

Day 15: Just the Stats

Day 15: 03-16-2013

No deep, or shallow, thoughts tonight. I'm spending time with friends.

Stats for day 14:

Food
Breakfast: fruit smoothie + spinach
Lunch: split pea soup
Dinner: vegan fajitas
Snack:

Movement:
Type: run
Workout: intervals
Distance: 4.11 miles
Time: 42:10

Day 14: 233.8

Day 14:  03-15-2013 



Goal! Goal! Goal! Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaal!  I woke up this morning to a few unpleasant things, but they were made all better when I stepped on the scale.  Today, I have officially begun "The Dwindling!".    I am saying goodbye to the fat guy.  Or at least the fairly chubby guy.  My accursed broad shoulder have always made my appearance deceiving when it comes to weight.  As of today, I am down a total of 12.2 pounds in the last 14 days.

I know it seems like a lot, but I am not starving myself.  I am eating roughly 2000 calories a day, give or take.   The thing is, almost all of the 2000 calories are coming from a variety of whole plant based foods.  Brown rice, beans, fruits, vegetables, roots, and grains.  I am also running like mad.   I have yet to complete the 4 mile circuit I have chosen for my baseline track, but still.  I don't think hitting 4 miles doing run/walk intervals is too shabby.

What next?  How do I keep from getting stale?  My plan is to increase my running interval by 15 seconds every time I hit a weight goal.   That means 1 minute walking rest for every 2:45 second steady run.  My hope is that as time goes by I will be going further between rests until I no longer need them.  I am also going to add in 2 days a week in the complex gym for a few minutes after my run.  Just to balance out the workout.  Add some push-ups, sit-ups, and a few machine weights into the mix.  Just to tone, balance, and keep my metabolism amped.  I would like to eventually swap out a running day for some sort of alternative workout.  Something like kickboxing, or yoga, or pilates, or something.


Today was a good day.  Oh yeah, and it was 80 degrees and the first day of Spring Break!  What a glorious way to begin.  My next goal:  225 pounds.  This will net another 15 second increase on my intervals.

14 days down and tomorrow to go...

Day 14 stats:

Food
Breakfast:  Fruit Smoothie + raw spinach (not as a bad as it sounds)
Lunch:  Vegan Bean and Rice "Spaghetti"
Dinner:  The Ginormous Salad with a new experimental dressing
Snacks:  Dairy Free Whole Wheat Biscuits

Movement:
Type:  Run
Workout:  Intervals
Time:  42:10 min
Distance:  3.91 miles

Type:  Machine Weights
Workout:  3 sets x 15 reps
Focus:  Chest and back
Time:  15 min.

Day 13: Setting Goals

Day 13:  03-14-2013

I stepped on the scale this morning just for giggles and discovered that I am much closer to my first goal than I thought.  Time kinda flies when you stay busy and start to feel well.  This got me contemplating the idea of goals.  Setting goals for myself is relatively new.  I have goals for my students and children, but I've never really set goals for me.  I really needed to move beyond the "get fit" or "get healthy" nonsense.   Those are goals.  I mean, what does get fit or get healthy even mean.

Have you ever tried aiming at target when you couldn't even find it?  Me neither, so I set about determining some very specific, measurable things that I wanted to accomplish for myself.  What I discovered is that my goals were huge.  I started this blog at 246.  I want to weigh 185.  Huge.  I started not being able to finish a consecutive mile.  I want to run a 1/2 marathon.  Huge.  I want to complete the p90x program.  I can barely do 3 push-ups.  Huge.  And no more sleep apnea!  Huge.

I found this to be quite overwhelming.  I can quit.  Not bother.  Surrender.  Take the easy way out.  Or I can manage my goals a little bit at a time.  I can take steps to the top rather than expect to leap there.  I broke my goals up into three categories that I felt would help me reach my ultimate target:  food goals, movement goals, and weight goals.

My weight  goals have been set in 10 pound increments.  First up:  235.  I should be hitting that in the next day or two based on this mornings flirtation with the scale.

My food goals were quite simple.  Replace one meal a day with a salad.  Done. I've been consistent for almost two weeks now.  I even ate my salad for lunch today while the rest of my staff enjoyed boss pizza.  I also aim for at least 70% of my dinner calories come from whole plant based foods.  Very often, it's closer to 90%.  I am feeling so much better after a mere 13 days.

My movement goal was a little bit different.  I set it at a minimum.  I have a busy schedule.  I teach.  I have 4 kids.  I have a life time of excuses.  I figure if I have a reasonable minimum workout schedule then I will be able to be flexible without feeling like I am about to quit.  My initial goal was to achieve a minimum of 30 minutes of intense movement  4 days a week.  I have honestly been moving 40 minutes a day, 6 days a week.  I have had to force myself to take Wednesday's off lest I overdo it.    

I look forward to posting tomorrow in hopes that my food and movement goals (both met today) will make my weight goal happen tomorrow before my spring break actually begins.

13 days of madness gone,
blindly forward,
I no longer stumble on...



Today's Stats:

Food:
Breakfast:  Smoothie of Awesomeness
Lunch:  Amazing Salad of Greatness
Dinner:  A sort of goulash made with brown rice, black beans, olives, bell peppers, tomato sauce and seasoning.
Snack:  Fuji Apple

Movement:
Workout:   Walk/Run Intervalsun
Type:  walk 1 minute, run 2:30 min
Time:  42:00 min
Distance:  4.01 miles

Day 12: Rest

Day 12:  03-14-2013

Today was a day of rest.  So I am giving my mind a break, too.  Besides, I watched a documentary today that I want to process through.  I am just not ready yet.  It was...interesting and repulsive at the same time.  More to come in the next few days as I try to put my mind back together.

Day 12 passed by with little fanfare and nothing of note.

Here are my Day 12 stats:

Food:
Breakfast:  The Usual Smoothie
Lunch:  Signature Ginormous Salad (no meat)
Dinner:  Brown Rice and Broccoli Stir Fry (chicken added)
Snack:  Fuji Apple

Movement:
Type:  Rest
Workout: None
Distance:  None
Time:  All Day

Day 11: Love

 Day 11:  03-12-2013

A coworker mentioned something to me today while I was talking about my past and my current journey.  It was just mentioned as an aside, no real weight to it.  Just a statement of her personal preference.  Everyone is different. Everyone has their own motivations and their own way of doing things.  I do not judge anyone but myself.  And stupid people.  I judge stupid people.  Anyway, she mentioned that she eats as she does simply because she loves food.  That got me thinking.  A lot, apparently.

I got to wondering if it was a true love of food that was my motivation.  I certainly do like the taste of a good burger or pizza.  I pinpointed my quantity issues in my Day 2 post, Raised to Fail.  But as far as food quality and taste, does that have a role to play in my current state?  Maybe it used to. After all, a love of pizza will bring a slice to my lips.  But is it love that drives me to eat the whole damn thing?  I am beginning to suspect that I don't like myself as much as I say I do.  Or rather, used to...

Love is such an interesting concept.  We use that word in a multitude of ways.  I mean, how can you love a spouse AND love pizza?  Love seems to be the key to a variety of things in life.  If you don't love your job, you tend toward misery.  If you don't love your significant other, someone gets tired of trying and leaves.  If you don't love your kids, you may end up raising a sociopath or two.  Love is a very powerful thing.  And so is loathing...

Somewhere along the way, I think I cornered the market on self-loathing.  Ask anyone,  I have always been my own worst critic.  Nothing I do is ever good enough..for me.  As I've discovered, that is a dangerous way of thinking in my chosen career path.  Odd that I think that the last few years in my job, working with a lot of at-risk kids that I've discovered the real power of love.  That I've discovered that maybe, just maybe it's OK to love myself.  Or at least like myself.

I had a recent opportunity to see a tremendous documentary, "Inspire Me, Africa!" from UC Denver (Trailer to the left).  In it, they said something that really resonated.  And I paraphrase, "We tell our kids they can be anything they want.  But how can we expect our students to be more than they are when we don't believe it about ourselves."  There was just something so terribly empowering in that statement.  It was like I was finally given permission to want to be more than I am.  To put myself on near equal footing as those around me.  I have begun to think that maybe this realization is what really led me to take the first step toward this point in my journey.

I've been the husky kid (read: fat).  I've been the fat adult.  And I've spent a little time as a more fit adult, as well.  And I must say, that I have a much higher capacity for love when I feel good.  And I feel the best when I'm running and eating well.  So bringing it back on topic, I think I used to love food.  But I am learning that I love me more.  I love feeling well. I love feeling like I could climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.  I love feeling like I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.  I love the feels I have when I am healthier.  I love the energy, the passion, the excitement that is my life when I am well.  Truly well.


In the end all we can change is ourselves.  All we have is our life, our mind, our body, or consciousness.  I want to share as much of that life with the people I cherish most.  My wife, my kids, my family, my friends, my students.  I want to be the best me I can be and I can't be he if I sit around like a tree.  OK, that was a bit silly, but I'm gonna leave it in anyway.  I want to leave with a quote from one of my favorite films of all time.  It sums up the power that love has in our lives.

"Love.  You can learn all the math in the 'verse...but you take a boat in the air that you don't love...she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds.  Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down...tells you she's hurting before she keels.  Makes her a home."

                                    -Capt. Malcolm Reynolds to River Tam, Serenity (2005)

Stats for Day 11:

Food Intake:
Breakfast:  My Signature Fresh Fruit Smoothie
Lunch:  My Signature Ginormous Salad Mix with Turkey
Dinner:  3 Eggs on Homemade Whole Wheat Cheddar Biscuits  (needed a big calorie intake today)
Snacks:  Fuji Apple

Movement:
Type:  Interval Run
Workout:  1 minute walk/ 2 min. 30 sec. run
Distance:  4.35 miles (GPS)
Time:  43 min.

Day 10: All or Nothing

Day 10:  03-11-2013

I am an all or nothing guy.  This is most recently evidenced by my weight changes over the last two years.  During last school year we started a Biggest Loser type challenge.  We pitted staff members against each other with the support of our PTO.  There were three winners declared.  I crushed the competition.  I dropped some 65 pounds in 6 months.  Eating well and running had become a key part of my life.  I really felt I had achieved that ever elusive lifestyle change we are all looking for.  Life was good.  I had run the longest run of my life: 7.1 miles.  I was in my all phase.  I joined my colleagues in summer softball league where I injured myself.  I pulled both of my sartorial muscles.  It was a hell of a play, and I very quickly became unable to run.

Enter my nothing phase.  At first it was no big deal.  I couldn't walk so I was forced to sit still.  I don't do still very well.  The running joke is that I have Restless Body Syndrome.  At first it was a consolation bowl of ice cream, then a pizza because the wife was out and I could make dinner.  It was one thing after another.  And  I was all in...again.  This time, however, it was food.  Anything decadent and savory.  One year and 50 pounds later, I feel like nothing.

I have always had a hard time just relaxing.  My first year as a teacher and what do I do?  I get a second job.  Which turned into a full time gig, then I added additional duties at a school.  Eventually it ran me so far into the ground that a common cold turned viral meningitis.  That was a crazy year.  Maybe I'll relive it another night.

So how is this time any different?  Well, I'm involving others.  My wife has started her own journey on the road to wellness and has shown me a lot of support and encouragement.  Mutual support in the home makes for better choices all around.  I don't want to tempt her from her commitment  she doesn't want to tempt me either.  It means a lot less sweets and treats in the house.  I am getting crazy support from friends on Facebook and Google+.  But most importantly, this journal.  This thing has caused me to look a little deeper at myself and I believe that will be all the difference.   It's keeping me honest.  I've always considered myself a man of integrity, yet somehow manage to lie to myself where food is involved.  One cookie won't hurt, right?  Until one cookie becomes a box.  But I digress.  I am writing this late and I am tired.

More tomorrow...

Here are my stats for Day 10:

Food Intake:
Breakfast:  Whole fruit smoothie (2 bananas, 1/2 c strawberries, 1/2 c pineapple/mango mix, 1/2 c raspberry/blueberry/blackberry mix, 2 T ground flax seed, 1 t cinnamon)
Lunch:  Ginormous salad (romaine, olives, tomato, bell peppers, cottage cheese)
Dinner:  TBLT
Snacks:  Tuna and cottage cheese on rice cakes

Movement:
Type:  Run
Workout:  Extended intervals (1 mile run, 1 minute rest)
Distance:  3.5 miles
Time:  40 minutes


10 days down, a lifetime to go...

Day 9: Good Day

Day 9:  03-10-2013

I had a great day.  I really don't have much to say.  No thoughtful introspection.  No stumbling or falling today.  No doubt. I ate well.  I ran hard.  I spent time with my family.  I did some chores.  I even squeezed in some video game time AFTER my big run.  I set some new goals on RunKeeper.com.  All in all, it was a good day.

Here are my stats for Day 9:

Food Intake
Breakfast:  Turkey bacon and egg sandwich on whole wheat toast.  Small fruit smoothie.
Lunch:  Turkey Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato sandwich
Dinner:  Salad (romaine, olives, tomato, bell pepper, cucumber), two homemade cheese biscuits
Snacks:  Carrots

Movement:
Type:  Run
Workout:  intervals 1 minute walk, 2:30 minute run
Distance:  4.37 miles

Day 8: 9 Pounds

Day 8:  03-09-2013  237.2

My first day into my second week and I start off with a great weigh-in.  My pre-breakfast weight was 237.2 this morning.  Down from 246.3 just eight days ago.  That puts me down 9.1 pounds this week.  I weigh pre-breakfast because I want to know how much I weigh, not my food.  Or my clothing for that matter. I know that 9 pounds sounds like a dramatic number for a 7 day period.  It is.  Sort of.  Bigger people lose bigger chunks of excess body fat early on.  That's just how it is.  I know it won't be this way every week, but for now it's good.  Real good.

It's all in the math.  My daily intake the last year averages around 3500 calories.   A lot of that has been coming from sweets and excess amounts of cheese and breads usually between 8-11 pm.  Now reduce that to around 2000 calories which just so happens to be a much more ideal calorie consumption for my ideal weight.  Now add to that the fact that most almost all of those calories have been coming from whole, plant based, nutrient rich foods which tend to boost the metabolism.  Then add to that the workouts I've gotten in 7 of the last 8 days.  The math is totally in my favor.  A daily deficit of  1500 calories totals 10500.  A pound of fat takes 3500 calories to burn off.  Just changing the way I eat garnered a 3 pound loss.  Then you factor in the workouts.  Each of them easily burning 500-700 calories over a week.  there goes another 2 pounds.  Then there is the probability that I've been retaining water as a result of poor food and movement rituals.  Consider metabolic changes and food burning efficiency and there goes the last 4 pounds.  All in all, the math is in my favor for now.  Eventually I will hit place where I can legitimately only loose a pound or two a week.  By then, I will be in such high spirits it won't even matter anymore.   

Ginormous Salad

Speaking of food, do you know how hard it is to get 2000 calories from largely plant based foods?  Very.  Usually I end up grazing like a mad cow all day or I end up eating a ginormous salad and feeling stuffed for 2 hours before getting hungry again.  Let's face it, your body can cook up and eat lettuce a lot more effectively than a twinkie. All foods were not created equal.  A 100 calorie banana does not have the same effect as a 100 calories of cookies.  I can tell you from experience that the banana fills you up better and longer than that cookie.  And let's face it, 100 calories only gets one cookie.

Ok, back to the topic of my day.  I had another obstacle today.  My Lego Robotics team was competing today in a location where food and drink were not allowed.  That meant I could not pack a lunch so easily.  Especially not the salads I have been enjoying so much.  Ice chest or no, romaine and spinach wilt if you look at them crosseyed.  I knew right away that food would be an issue.  My fellow coaches decided to order pizza (which sounded delicious and didn't get any argument from me).  It also made most sense since we may have had students to feed.  That said, our amazing head coach ordered a vegetable only pizza because of me.  I know it's pizza.  I know it's not the best thing in the world.  But sometimes you've got to be flexible.  And besides, the pizza was good.  Damn good.  Thanks to a little perspective from another assistant coach, I deserved a little treat after working so hard this week.  Maybe I overdid it a bit eating 4 slices.  My stomach certainly thought so.  I even felt guilt for a minute.  Then I remembered that it was just one meal under extenuating circumstances.  Circumstances that won't come again for some time.  And I still had my workout for the day to do and ingredients for another bad ass salad.  That is what I did, too.

But the events of the day are kind of why I am pretty sure I will never be a pure vegetarian or vegan, though sometimes those thoughts cross my mind.  I think I am living more of a flexitarian lifestyle.  Maybe I will post on that topic another time.

Day 8 in a nutshell:  I awoke, I laughed, I stressed, I overate, I shopped, I worked out, and now I chill.

Day 7: The day that almost was...

Day 7:  03-08-2013

The Snoozemonster hit me hard this morning.  I had parent- teacher conferences until just after 8 pm last night and came home exhausted.  12 hours of teaching, conferencing and parenting can take a lot of a man.  So when 6 am hit this morning, I was less than motivated to workout.  And I snoozed.  Not once, not twice, but 5 times.  I crawled out of bed around 7:15 am and I was not ready to be a part of this world.  But responsibility beckoned!

About an hour into my day the guilt set in.  You know that, "I could've worked out if.  I should've worked out but. I would've worked out if only..."  feeling?  Yeah, I'm used to it.  It's been the bane of my existence and my best friend for the last 15 years.  It's been eating at me all day.  I kept feeling bad, then making excuses, then accepting defeat and all while managing 22 first graders.

Then I remembered that I am done with that stranger.  That odd fellow that did creep into my life so many years ago and replaced bits of me at a time.  The one who slowly changed just enough of my body and mind so that I was still recognizable, but wasn't me.  I know who I am.  I know what I want.  I want to be free.  Free of the of the doubt, the guilt, the fear and self-loathing.  Free of the sleep apnea that has plagued me since adding more weight than my frame could bear.  Free of the inability to do the things I want but can't because my physical state won't allow it.  I know who I am and I know what I want in this season of my life.

And that is when I got home from work, dropped off the kids, said hey to the wife and went right back out to run.  I was just going to hit the elliptical and maybe some weights, but the great outdoors called.  55 degrees and overcast, a cool breeze and the threat of rain.  How could I NOT go outside to run?  I set up my intervals, which I've increased by 15 seconds from a cool 2 minutes of running and 1 minute walk breaks.  I figured that if I could hit 3 miles at this pace it would be a solid effort.  46 minutes later I walked into my complex gym.  I had just completed 4.16 miles of intervals.  I was in the zone.   I have been back at this for 7 days.  Seven glorious, fretful, worrisome, and wonderful days.  Quite plainly, this introspection that I have been doing the last several days.  This has been huge.  I have never put this much of myself out there for myself, let alone for others to possibly see.  It keeps me honest.  I didn't want to report that my day had ended with that snooze button.  I want to go back and look and see that I almost quit.  I almost failed.  I almost lost. But I didn't!

Tomorrow is my first weigh-in in a week. I am nervous.  But I got this!

Day 7 is done.  A life of freedom awaits...

Day 6: We'll call it a draw...

Day6: 03-07-2013

Yesterday I was concerned about the snooze button and the effect it might have after taking a rest day. I'm glad to say that I got up and ran. 3.5 miles of intervals. It hurt so damn good. So far the blog effect is working in my favor. I was looking forward to making official record of my success and not posting a failure.

I must admit that I don't have much to say tonight. It's been a long day. We had make up conferences at school tonight. They went well, but going 4 hours after school is less than awesome.

I had two good meals and then splurged a bit for dinner. The school got us Hog Wild Pit BBQ tonight. Beef, chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, cobbler, cookies, etc. I proud to say that I only had the brisket and coleslaw. I cannot believe I passed up the potato salad (some of the best I've had) and the cobbler. I may have indulged in the quantity of meat and slaw, and I will have to live with that.

Like I said, the day was a draw. Ran well, ate less than well.

Day 6 done. Sleep calls and tomorrows run beckons....

Day 5: Fear and the Snoozemonster

Day 5:  03-06-2013

It has been an eventful, albeit stressful, day at work. Usually at this point I have stress eaten my way through a large pizza, a box of cookies or half a carton of ice cream.  And sometimes, a combination of them all.

Not today.   Nope.  Today I have stayed true to my food choices.   It will not be me again.  I wonder how many times I am going to need to tell myself before it sinks in.  Probably a few thousand more times.  Changing a lifetime of unhealthy choice probably isn't going to happen tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, now that will be a real test.  Even more so than stress eating.  You see, this morning was first "rest" day.  I worked hard this week.   My legs were feeling it this morning.  They needed a break.  Afterall, I don't want my all to turn into nothing.  I am about to face my first fight with history.  We're talking about the almighty snooze button.  Mankind's worst invention, right behind Furby that is.  It has the power to bring us comfort and solace in the wee hours of the morning.  It has the power to make us feel in control of our day.  It has the power to make us late.  The power to make us miss our workouts, fill us with regret and guilt, begin our day with stress and pain and longing.  Yes, I hate the snooze button.  It is the bane of my existence.  I fear that it will win.  I fear that I will remember my blankets warm, comforting embrace as I did this morning and many morning before.

But maybe, just maybe, I will remember that the snoozemonster is lying to me.  That even though it says that it loves me.  It says that 10 more minutes will be the perfect time to get up.  It says that alot.  Usually every 10 minutes.  I will find out in the morning how powerful the written word can be.  I will discover something about myself and this process in the morning.  Will putting my fears in writing for others to see give that edge that I need to slay the snoozemonster?

I'll let you know tomorrow.  For today, I am just pleased to have made it through in tact.  I made it through the offers of Girl Scout Cookies and Caramelized Popcorn.  The birthday cupcakes and leftover Valentine's candy still floating around.   The tasty, crunchy, salty, Doritos offered to me near my moment of weakness.   But I said no.  I held strong.  I thought about having to post about it.  And that one thought lead me to a thought.  A bit of wisdom I read on the interwebs the other day.  If your good can go bad, it's good for you.  If it can't go bad, it's bad for you.  Seem's like pretty good advice.  


Day 5 is nearly done as I post this.  I am ready to own Day 6!

Day 4: Tired

Day 4: 03-04-2013

The beast reared its head today. It told me that I needed to give euphoria a break. So did the cramps I got today while sitting on the floor working with a student. Did I mention that my legs fell asleep at the same time? See? Beast. Head reared. It was awful. Just plain awful.

Of course I immediately increased my water intake. I feel better now. Though I'm very tired. Both the sleepy tired and the muscle tired. The food intake has been good today, though I had some bagel crisps with a smattering of melted cheese. Terrible snack, says my gut. It's amazing how just four days of eating well and moving can have such a profound impact on my well being.

For the 4th day in a row, I got up and moved. Today, it was 2/1 run/walk intervals for 42 minutes. I made 3.38 miles according to my Runkeeper App. It was good. I almost didn't get up. But this blog and the words I've given to the ether provided the right mix of guilt and motivation.

My entry tonight is short and pointed. No big epiphanies today. As I said, I'm tired. Good night world.


4 days gone but not forgotten...

Day 3: Raised to Win!

Day 3: 03-13-2013

Yesterday I wrote about how bad habits from my youth are a big part of the battle I fight today. After rereading yesterday's I realized that I kinda payed the blame squarely at my parents feet. I realize that they did the best they could with the tools that were given to them. And while some of those thing have lead me here, it is all of the other lessons they taught me that truly make me who I am. Those lessons, both intentional and not, on determination and perseverance. The lessons of responsibility and the power of choice. The power to dream. To seek. To question and then find the answer. Those are the lessons I call upon now. Those are the lessons that will make or brake me. And I have hope.

I awoke dark and early today. 6am. I've been setting my alarm at 6 for almost a year. Most days I only snooze it once or thrice. In reality, I snooze it until the last possible minute. I've enjoyed the road to hell. You know, the one paved with good intentions? Well, today started differently. Amazingly, I dragged my bones out of bed and dressed with the intention of hitting the complex gym. I walked down the hall only to find it locked. Guess it doesn't open until 9 or something stupid like that. Here it was, the first of many hurdles to leap. Do I go back to bed, or do something about my predicament? Should I quit? Procrastinate? Try again another day? Or do I persevere? Do I find a way to make a workout happen?

I stepped outside and said to hell with the elliptical. To hell with bed. I am walking. It was a cool 40 degrees. I could walk for a bit. Thing is, I couldn't. Walking wasn't the same rush as the elliptical had been so i picked up the pace a bit. 40 minutes later, I had crushed 3.15 miles. And by crushed, I mean wheezed and struggled through. Turns out that the 1 minute/25 second interval run/walk I had chosen on runkeeper was actually a 1 mile/.25 mile interval. I found out the hard way. I also got a little closer to meeting myself again. Because I had the power to stop and change the workout for something less. I didn't. It felt good. Real good.

Turns out that starting your day with a work out really boosts your metabolism. I discovered that about an hour after I got to work and was famished. My awesome homemade real fruit smoothie is gonna need a boost for sure on morning workout days. That said, my salad for lunch was uh-freaking-mazing. And the blackeyed pease and brown rice in a gumbo like chicken broth was deliciousness incarnate.

All in all, I am gonna call day 3 a win. Thanks mom and dad for the life lessons. Thanks wife for the extra support the last few days and for always accepting me as I am. It gives me courage to be more. To do more.

3 days down, a lifetime to go...

Day 2: Raised to Fail

Day 2:  03-03-2013

I was raised to fail.  I said it.  Out loud.  Sort of.  Of course, I am talking about food and food management.  In all other areas of my life, I was taught very clearly that I will get whatever I am willing to work for.  But for some reason, I was never taught to apply this to food, fitness, or health.  Now, I love my parents very much.  My parents love me very much.  Love has nothing, and everything, to do with it.  I thing that it was out of love that my bad health habits formed.  The 80's was time of plenty for the US.  The idea that it was ok to feel hungry was nowhere to be seen or heard.  We were told of all the starving children in Africa.  Repeatedly.  Our parents were encouraged to not let us go hungry.  I routinely heard growing up that I should clean my plate.  We don't want to waste food.   I was prepared for a different world than the one I moved into.  When you're little and metabolism is something just shy of cheetah's, you can pretty much eat what you want.  Come on, I grew up on Mac & Cheese, Pizza, McDonald's, and Mom's fried taco's.  My dad's biscuits and gravy were a regular staple for breakfast or dinner.  And the sugar frosted chocolate diabetes bombs I had for breakfast most days was awesome.   However, just because you can have or do something, doesn't always mean you should.  At some point, your metabolism joins the real world.  And if your habits and food choices suck, then your metabolism rears its angry head and bites.  Hard.

Still, I did OK   I was bit "husky" during my late elementary/junior high years.  But then something wonderful happened.  I discovered football.  I went out and made the 8th grade football team and just like that, my childhood metabolism was back.  I never made the connection that working out a million hours a day is what allowed me to eat 2 XL McDonald's Value meals in one sitting and still be hungry.  No one ever taught me the whole input/output ratio matters.  The idea of eating to live.  Eating what I needed to survive most days was ideal.  I always ate because it was there.  Because I had two brothers that would it first if I didn't dig in right away.  Because I was reminded how fortunate I was to have food and I should take advantage of that.  Because I had to clean my plate (that was usually loaded for me) before I could be excused.  So yeah,  I developed some pretty insane eating habits.  Habits I am still fighting to this day.

Then one day a missed tackle by a teammate took football away.  My priorities in life shifted.  But my eating habits didn't.  22 years of "training" is a lot to cast off.  Especially when you don't realize their impact until its too late.  I'm only now learning that it is never too late.  For example, it turns out you can't eat 5000 calories a day without burning 5000 calories that same day.  Input/Output.  Just that simple.

That is what I aim to change.  I am just beginning to learn what my body sounds like, how to listen when its hungry or full.  When it's tired and needs a break.  When it's bored and needs to move.  I know the path I need to walk, to run, to ride.  Now I need follow that path. Knowing only does so much.  It's action and application that changes the dynamic.

I know these are mostly bits of ramble, but they are helping me to stay focused.  Knowing that towards the end of each day I am going to put down a journal of my fitness related activities is powerful.  I'm finding that I want to have something to post.  I want to brag to myself.  I want to be able to go back and see where I've been.  The human memory can only old so much in the way of specifics.  I imagine I will have more to ramble

All of those musings aside.  Day 2 has been smooth.  I have eaten well today.  I got a cool 60 minutes on the elliptical again and swam for about 20 minutes.  Then had the audacity, the energy, to do laundry and wash dishes.  I even played with my kids.  I mean actually played.  We ran, we wrestled, we played.  I was amazed by the burst of energy I had AFTER my workout.  I know I've had the feeling before.  Now, I want to remember it.  I want to share it.  I want it to become part of me for the remainder of my days.

I am 2 days closer to finding me.

Day 1

Day 1:  3-2-2013  246 lbs

I woke up angry this morning. Angry at myself. Angry at my health. At 35, I'm still learning so much about myself. I'm tired of the self loathing, self doubt, feeling like I don't deserve as much as the next guy (as long as I'm willing to work for it). I'm learning that I can't go it alone. And how easy it is to fail when I try. 

I have discovered a very hard truth.  I am an all or nothing kind of guy.  This can be a great thing, or a very harmful thing.  I aim to find balance. 
  
At my peak I weighed in around 302 pounds.  Thank the gods there is very little photographic proof of this.  I weighed 246 today. At this time last year, I was 196. I let a summer injury and excessive stress get me. I gave up. I gave in. I did not do. I'm done with that. I must do. I will do. This is my picture today, but this is not me. I will be back. Period.

Day 1:  3-13-2013:  246 lbs

Day 1 is nearly over.  I feel good.  I know I'm in that euphoric state of beginning.  I know there will trials.   I know there will be set backs and failures.  That is why I refuse to go it alone this time.   For the first time, I'm laying myself at the mercy of others because I need help to keep this going...

After all of that.  All of those thoughts and feelings. That is when I woke up.  I mean, I really felt awake for the first time in a very long while.  I pushed myself out of bed this morning with a gusto I haven't felt for some time.  I made myself an amazing fresh fruit smoothie for breakfast. I made breakfast for my my kids and played for a bit.  And then, this sh*t got real.   I headed out the door to the gym.   I hit the elliptical for a cool 60 minutes (with 8 lb dumbbells) , lifted for twenty, and swam for twenty. And dammit, I felt exhilarated.  I still do as I write this.  

I went grocery shopping today and didn't feel the urge to buy the stress foods that have comforted me for so long.  I had a delicious tuna and cottage cheese sandwich, an apple and a few bagel chips for lunch.  Finished off the daily meals with a damn fine salad made up of romaine, spinach, roma tomatoes, cucumber bits, stop light peppers and homemade dressing of cottage cheese and hot sauce (about 355 calories according to fatsecret.com).